you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
Silently passing ghastly beer farts as I move around the bridal department at Tiffany's. Call it my contribution to the holiday spirit.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
