There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
Randomize
