He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
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