I wish I could teleport
Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
