and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Randomize
