shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
Randomize
