who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
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