I wish I only lived at night.
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
Randomize
