We're like a lot better than the average bears
If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
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