I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Randomize
