Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
Randomize
