Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
