I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
Randomize
