Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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