i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
He called his prostate his "boner button".
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
