Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
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