i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
Randomize
