Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
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