This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
