Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
Randomize
