wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
Randomize
