Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
His hands were made for my vagina.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Randomize
