question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
Current status: Finding an unwrapped portion of Subway sandwich in my purse at the pharmacy counter & picking pieces of tomato off my wallet while the pharmacist watches disdainfully.
Did you offer her some?
If only. Current status: Not that clever.
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
