Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
Randomize
