Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
her facebook's as public as her vagina
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize
