I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
you mean i was at the winter classic?
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
Randomize
