and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
Randomize
