i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
Randomize
