You're my little dorito
I wish Morgan Freeman narrated my life.
I looked at my own cervix.
he shaved USA in his pubs
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
Randomize
