I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
