just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
I got inside last night via doggy door
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
