Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
