you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
Randomize
