There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Randomize
