I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
Randomize
