Is it normal to miss your booty call?
he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
bring money and cleavage
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
Randomize
