can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
