she was so not down for the gang bang
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
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