i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
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