my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
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