I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
Randomize
