Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
Randomize
