one two three fourrrrnication!
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
he was CRYING into my vagina
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
Randomize
