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Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
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