I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
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