i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
We need to feng shui this bitch.
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
Randomize
