My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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