Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
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