I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
Randomize
