She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
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