As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
Randomize
