$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
Whatcha textin bout Willis?
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
Randomize
